As a Scorpio I have never been afraid to tackle the subjects that others find a little ‘taboo’. I’m interested in ferreting out and discussing those thought processes we all indulge in but don’t care to make public. You know, the ones such as anger, futility (some call that one depression) shame and envy.
There is however one other big non-discussable (I’m making up words today) subject that needs to be added to that list and that is, loneliness. In my experience people would rather strip naked in a town square than ever admit to anyone that they are lonely or feel that they don’t have anyone who really understands them. So, the reason I’m bringing this up is not to be all morose and negative. Rather it is to discuss a syndrome that I know is very common to anyone treading, or about to embark on, the path of what we might term ‘higher consciousness’. I want to offer reassurance that feelings of loneliness are commonplace in those who are transitioning their lives from the ordinary to the extra-ordinary!
The popular idea is that on the ’spiritual’ path we become far more aware of ourselves and therefore much more forgiving of others. We come to realise that others stuff is ours and theirs – a direct reflection of the dynamic that exists between us – and that it is helping us both come to a realisation of our ’selves’. Consequently we expect to immediately have better relationships with everyone. Eventually that is true but unfortunately it is not always quite as simple as that. The truth of which we do not speak is that other people are evolving to their own unique timing and if they are not ‘where you are at’ they probably won’t like the changes they see in you, and in many cases will actively try and resist them.
The reason is this. As soon as one person in a relationship, whether that be a friendship a love relationship or even a family member starts to change, the dynamic that has existed between the couple is thrown out of kilter. Now if you have some very enlightened, self aware family members or friends all can be fine. With honest dialogue, communication can be the key that will open the door to a whole new dynamic but I’m afraid you have to be prepared for the fact that, this is rare.
When you start to behave differently, even if it is more positively, it means that the other person is forced to be more introspective about themselves and that is not always welcome or pleasant. Basically this is another manifestation of the Law of Polarity. It is at this point the relationship becomes unbalanced and middle ground needs to be reached.
Here’s one dynamic as an example of what I am talking about. I will write this in the first person as I have had this experience and I know that countless others have too….
When I was in my twenties I used to go out with a certain friend. We tended to moan about the same things; mainly not having enough money or the life we craved. We always ate at the same type of restaurants, purchased clothes in similar shops etc and we had a routine. We had a definition to the word ‘affordable’ and everything we did was in our comfort zone. Then as I started to become more immersed in an abundance consciousness I felt a need to move out of this stagnant fish pond and up into new streams. New vistas beckoned and I wanted to try them.
As part of my unfolding growth and self realisation I began to realise that I had been selling myself short and missing out, simply because my beliefs supported my lack mentality. I also realised I was sending out a pretty low vibrational energy about life to boot. So, I suggested to this friend that we tried new things and I was very positive and upbeat about meeting the additional costs involved. The relationship quickly soured. I recall going through a period of intense soul searching and sadness as someone who I really liked appeared to be rejecting me.
It was only when I was much older and wiser that I could see in retrospect what had really been happening. My behaviour had set up resentment within my friend who a) didn’t feel comfortable with the sudden change in me and b) it would have forced her to look at her own feelings of lack because I was actively embracing an abundance mentality whilst she was firmly stuck in poverty consciousness.
It’s a fact of life that a lot of the bonding that goes on between friends tends to be because we find areas of similarity that make us feel comfortable about who we are and the way we behave. Most people unconsciously choose friends who they perceive to support their belief system and to have similar values. Anyone else is a potential threat to the identity also known as Ego. At the end of the day people like to be around people who make them feel good and however positive you may be, if you are unconsciously confronting them with their own stuff then that is not making them feel good.
Another area, of many, where this same syndrome can arise is in choice of partners, lovers etc. To use another example, although thankfully not mine in this case, I have a friend who had always battled intensely with feelings of low self worth. In particular she had attracted partners who treated her very badly.
Once she become immersed in knowledge of manifesting and positive thinking she realised she had been selling herself short in many area of her life. She quickly saw miraculous results when she applied her mind to creating her reality. However as her self-esteem grew her partnership dramatically deteriorated. Her partner went from being mildly, verbally abusive to very threatening – he had to ‘up the ante’ to try and forcibly bring her back down to a level where she remained within his control. Luckily the time was right for her to leave and she hung onto her new found sense of self and found the courage to leave.
If your self esteem suddenly rises and you realise that you deserve better and are proactive about making a change, the other person is suddenly confronted with the truth about their relationship and that can be too much.
So, just be aware that in your efforts to manifest change you will encounter people who try to disparage what you are doing. Some of them will try and sabotage your effort, others will just stop calling you so frequently. It is vitally important, especially to those of you who are only just encountering this syndrome that you don’t let it knock you back. You may start to question your self worth again when it seems that those who once really liked you now seem to be less enthusiastic. It is not about you but about them and – by the LoA – about the entire transition process and you must be ‘aware’ enough to see it for what it is.
It will certainly sort the wheat out from the chaff. Those people who really love and care for you will be delighted to see your newfound positivity in action. They will celebrate with you when you attract the new job, the new car, the perfect love relationship. Hopefully they will even show an interest in learning your techniques and reading some of your motivational books. Even if they don’t the nice ones will just let you be. It is the ones who undermine your efforts to change or act in a passive/aggressive way that you must question your involvement with.
In the final analysis, it is part of the great cycles of life that friends, as well as jobs, cars, money, experiences will pass in and out of your world. Silently thank these people for whatever lessons they are bringing to your door, but if they are not ready for change themselves you may have to just keep focused ahead and move on.
Trust in the divine order of life and know that you can only lose from your life what is no longer required and that it will always be replaced by something better.
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1 We are discovering again that we live in a deeply mysterious world, full of sudden coincidences and synchronistic encounters that seem destined.
